In light of it being World Mental Health Day, here’s a piece I wrote about some of my thoughts and experiences from over the years…
I can only do my best to try and stay strong.
But, I’m avoiding the voids in my mind…
The negative thoughts haunting like ghostly two faced ghouls drilling with coarse jagged prongs…
So much for living long.
Am I really blessed to wake up each day to witness another dawn?
When the thoughts of what if and what not still linger on.
I sometimes struggle to put my finger on moments that went wrong.
Too caught up in being cast out.
Anxious thoughts exist, that there’s no doubt.
Trying to make sense of situations, gathering my senses.
Living with apprehensions, feeling under constant mental tension.
I can only take so much of the strain…
It’s crossed my mind just to end it all and put a bullet in my brain.
In hindsight though, what would that gain?
Just loved ones left dealing with the pain.
Lives shattered by someone who could never realise that they actually mattered.
I grew tired of thinking like that, I was beaten, bruised and battered… I was nearly gone.
But those who mean the most weren’t broken hearted…
Left dealing with their dearly departed.
I battled with my demons and put them to bed.
I emerged from the dark days and lived on instead.
I took steps forward without looking back.
Focused on foundations and not papering over cracks.
Thanks to the people who were there at my worst…
All you ever did was put me first.
You stood by me when I stumbled and fell.
You offered me a hand, an escape from the hell.
I just hope that I can make you all proud…
Apologies if the bad times return and I’m under dark clouds.
Remember that no matter the weather I’m here for you too…
I’ll always do my best to pick you up when you’re down and you’re blue.
Written by: Kyle King (Scotland)